As a member of the LDS church with many non-LDS friends and acquaintances, I've definitely been told more than once what it's like to be a Mormon. I've been told what I believe, I've been informed of how I should act, and I've faced a lot of misunderstandings. Seeing as this is my blog, I thought I'd tell you in my own words what Mormonism means to me, seeing as the rest of the world feels they have a right to explain it to me. I'm not meaning to come off as rude or judgemental, but I feel like, especially since this is Utah, people have these pre-concieved notions of what a Mormon is, and a lot of times I feel they are misguided. I'm just getting my point of view out there.
So, to break through the first stereotype, I am a Mormon because I CHOOSE to be. The Church won't kill me if I sin, they won't damn me to hell if I don't go to church... the LDS church isn't one of retribution or of force. It's not a cult, contrary to popular belief. I'm not a member of the Church because it's my parents' religion, or because it's Utah and that's how I was raised. I'm a member of the LDS Church because I believe it's teachings to be true. Just like a vegetarian believes eating animals is wrong. Just like political party members believe in the ideals their party stands for. Those people choose to put themselves into groups with people who share similar takes on life, and I am doing the same by being a member of this church. I think, especially in Utah where Mormonism is so prevalent, a lot of people associate naivety and blind conformity with membership in the LDS Church. Really, nowadays, very pieous people are depicted in the media this way; as people blindly following some silly church leader, naive to the real goings-on of the world. This is definitely NOT the case. I guess the main point of this blog is to help anyone questioning it understand that membership in the LDS Church is a choice, not an action of force or peer pressure, or an action of blind conformity.
When making a choice to do something or be a part of something, you always have reasons for making that choice. This same rule applies in my decision to be a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and live its teachings. I guess the simplest way to state my reason for this choice is because the LDS Church offers a minimally drama-free, heartache-free way of life. While most people look at my life and think I'm restricted, I feel more free because of the morals I've decided to uphold in my life. If I'm honest and loving toward all people, I can be free to live my life the way I want and not have to worry about facing jail time. If I'm chaste, I'm free from the risk of STD's, unplanned pregnancy, or heartbreak when some guy dumps me. If I don't choose to fill my body with harmful substances, I'm free from addiction and disease. I know this all sounds like a Jr. High Living a Better Life Campaign or something, but if you think about it, I'm really not so crazy for choosing this way of life. By living by the moral standards of the LDS Church, I feel like I'm more in control of the life I live and becoming the person I ultimately want to be.
Now that my life is working, I've gotten to know a lot of different types of people... most of whom don't share my same beliefs. When I talk to them and they bring up partying or their sex lives or ask me about my weekend plans, it becomes apparent that our beliefs definitely are not parallel. However, when I explain to them that I don't do a lot of the things they do, I don't say "Oh, I don't drink, I'm Mormon." I say something like "Oh, drinking really just has never appealed to me. I have heavy alcoholism on both sides of my family, and I don't want to risk it. Plus, I just really don't like the idea of not being able to control myself." Normally when I say this I get a reaction like, "Oh, that's cool. Still, that was a fantastic party I went to last night. Really... blah blah blah they tell me about their lives." If I go with the first option, the conversation normally goes like this: "Oh, I don't drink, I'm Mormon." "Oh... ha ha. Cool..." and then I feel awkward. It's not like I'm ashamed of my religion... I'm proud to be LDS. I just like being treated like a person instead of a stereotype when I tell people about myself.
One stereotype that I've faced quite frequently is that since I'm Mormon I must A: think I'm better than you and B: judge you and think you're going to hell. This is not true, and honestly, it hurts my feelings when people act on these stereotypes. I will never judge someone for doing something that is not in my set of values, just as I expect the same from other people. I will, however, be disappointed in people for doing things that are stupid, just as I expect other people to be disappointed in me when I'm an idiot. So many times, friends have been having a conversation and they'll tell me lies about where they're going that night, or carefully edit out parts of the story, because they think I'll judge them. It's not like I want to hear the gorey details of your one-night stand or anything (most people don't), but I do want to hear about your life. I want to hear the funny story about that crazy night you got drunk, I do want to hear that you happened to meet a very attractive specimen of the opposite gender and had a good time. (I hope this doesn't sound creepy... you get my point.) See, the thing is, when you assume that I'll judge you because of something you've done just because I don't do it, it makes you the judgemental one.
Going along with judgement, just because I'm going to an LDS school does not mean I will get married at 19 and have five kids by the time I'm 24. Okay, I will admit that there is a chance I may get married early. I don't necessarily want to stay a virgin till I'm thirty. However, getting married early does not necessarily mean that I will suddenly lose all life plans I have ever had for myself. Mormon girls don't just get stupid after they get married, I promise. I'm not in a hurry to do so, and definitely don't plan on it, but if I do get married early, do you really have the right to judge me? I would rather be married at 19 and be watiting to have kids than having my boyfriend's baby at 19.
The last thing you should know about my life as a Mormon is that I don't live the way I do because an old book and my parents and some old guys tell me I should. I live this way because it's who I am. I don't believe in abstinence because it's a commandment, but because it's something I've thought about and decided I want in my life. If I had never even heard of the LDS Church, I would still want that. I don't go to church because I'm afraid I'll go to hell if I don't, I go because I feel good there. I'm not a saint, you all know that. I don't think I'm any better than anyone, you all know that. Mormons don't have life any easier than anyone else, we're not naive to the horrors of humanity. We just choose a support system of people with similar beliefs and a belief in a higher power to help us overcome all of that. Each individual has an escape from humanity, has a way to deal with life's crises, and this is just the escape I've chosen for myself.
I hope that I haven't offended anyone with this post... that wasn't my intention. My intention was to help people better understand things that they may not understand or see things from a different perspective. Here's my life from my point of view, because like I said, I've had my beliefs and opinions told to me quite a bit. I love you all, and I hope you're all out living exciting lives! :)
So,song of the blog... Sorry if you feel like I'm shoving religion down your throats... not trying to. But I feel it's appropriate for me to share one of my favorite "Jesus Songs" with you today. The one I've chosen is "Some Will Seek Forgiveness, Others Escape" by Underoath. It really is an amazing song, and don't worry it's not overwhelmingly cheesy, as religious music often is... it's enjoyable! So enjoy!
